Copyright Nik Bonkoski 2019

All images and text on this blog are credited to Nik Bonkoski, unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Nik Bonkoski is strictly prohibited.

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If my work is meaningful and/or helpful to you, you can make a one-time or monthly gift through PayPal. 

Followers have asked me to make this page where they can say thank you via a gift to my time and effort spreading love, mental health/suicide awareness, grief healing, trauma information, spiritual guidance, truth, and knowledge via my writing. 

 

 All of my social media writing, informational articles, access to my blog, and my Facebook support groups are free. 

 

 

Much gratitude!! I appreciate all of you. I'm here and I care about all of you so very much. I appreciate all of your emails and Facebook messages and do my best to answer them all. 

 

Love always, your friend....Nik

 

 

 

**your contribution is not tax deductible** 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nik, You are an inspiration, a breath of whispered truth, a broken person trying to heal, yet you still have the strength to want to reach out and help others, you are a credit to yourself, your family, and all your friends. I take my hat off to you. Bless you through and through."

 

"Nik, thank you. Everything you write is a true testament of life and its journey. Thank you for allowing me to read both the good, bad, happy and sad."

"This group, Grief Untamed, which you started has helped so many despairing, hopeless folk who are lost in their agony. I salute you for everything you have achieved, both on this group, with all the folk you help daily in one-on-ones and in the invaluable advice you offer us. You are our angel and this is definitely your calling!!! Thank you Nik for being such a special human being, in fact, just for being you. So many of these stories resonate with me and I find it so gratifying to offer a suffering soul some hope. You have enabled me to fulfill others' needs and my own! Much love to you "

 

"I’ve spent the entire evening reading every one of your posts. I think you’re one of the most amazing women I’ve ever read.... never stalked a page like this. Ever. I’m blown away. Keep making beauty in the world. My goodness, you deserve so much goodness." Facebook follower

 

 

"Hi Nik, I just wanted to connect and say what an amazing woman you are. I read your posts which are educational, informative and moving. I have not experienced suicide but have been left by my partner which is heartbreaking. Your posts are helping me get through this process. Thank you so much." 

 

 

"Nik, if you've saved one life... Can you IMAGINE!!! In reality, though you have may already have saved MULTIPLE lives with your words!!!!!! HOLY COW!!!! Some heros fight for our country, some heroes fight bad guys, some heroes fight fires, some heros fight to save lives, some heroes just love and make others around them feel better, know they aren't alone, and help them fight to hang on. You may not have a dangerous job that you risk your life on every day, but with that keyboard of yours you are fighting as hard as any other hero and making a difference in people's lives and in some cases saving them. All because you chose to tell the truth. Nik, you are a true hero. World wide!!! Keep up the great work!!" -Facebook follower 

 

 

 

 

 

You can’t always control what happens to you in your life but you can always choose to heal and move forward with grace. Love, Nik

                                        

"Hi Nik Tebbe. Hope you are having an amazing day. I've said for quite a while now that every day that you wake up on this side of the dirt is a good day, yet I've only truly lived that for the past few years. 
I have thought about posting a comment on your site every since that fateful day that I turned on my laptop and the very first thing I saw was the most happiest face so full of life and beauty. The face I'll never forget because although that incredible looking face looked as though it was bursting with joy, unfortunately the happiness and contentment I saw on that gorgeous little face wouldn't remain, couldn't remain, I thought, after reading your post and sinking into myself and my chair holding back the floodgates. The face of your little princess in her ballerina outfit will be forever burned into my memory as I remember just how very palpable my pain was and how I was immediately disgusted with myself for even thinking I had a right to assume that I could possibly know how you or your little girl felt that day. 
Where was I?...oh yes, I have thought about posting a comment, that statement is true, only it's true about 14 times over and the reason I've held back maybe legitimate or maybe not, but I certainly did not want to dampen or diminish the power, love, empathy, care, passion and so much more of you I see poured into these posts with a post that might come across even slightly as forward or pretentious or even shallow and insensitive. So when your post popped up on my screen this afternoon I thought, what a perfect post for me to finally communicate what I feel has been laid on my heart and soul since I first read your story. As I mentioned, that last thing I want to do is muddy the waters of the incredibly uplifting and brave journey you've decided to take on, not only head first, but in my observation, heart first as well. 
I can't remember ever reading such meaning and intense feeling contained within words of a computer screen. Yet that day and so many days after, your ability to express the realness of true happiness and the sheer horror of dark tragedy is intrinsically unique. 
And not to share just any story, but to do such justice to the life changing events you and your family had experienced and were continuing to live through speaks volumes to your character as a loving wife & mother; to just how deep your emotional identity lived inside as the exterior faced battle in the trenches of this life day-in & day-out. For you to be able to look the hurt and pain and unfairness those events poured upon your life, right in the face, own them, and take the time to work through them, with the courage it must have taken to rise above consistently, leaves me searching for adjectives that could even come close to filling that role adequately. 
So Nik, I hope you can hear the expression of truth in the very genuine pouring out of thanksgiving, love, (yes I said love but it's righteous love, of that I have no doubt) respect, and an awkward, gut wrenching sorrow that I'm confident is rooted in the pages of my own journey dotted with some of the same ink. 
Why? Simple. You could have very easily sank deep into a selfish pit of depression as you lived out your days buried in your own compounded grief and not a single soul would have or could have blamed you for taking that route. However, pardon the pun, like a phoenix from the ashes you chose to take your lot and use the platform of social media in such a way that there's really no way to really comprehend just how far of a ripple you have and are continuing to create in the dark and dreary world of depression, mental health, and suicide. I know too many souls that are gone, taken way too early from this world and the ones who loved them dearly. So if you would grant me a single wish of closing your eyes and listen carefully. There...can you hear that? That Nik is the thunderous applause of the loved ones lost as they cheer for you, your bravery, your honesty, your willingness to wake daily, throw back the covers and run into the day full of such inspirational words that create sentences that create paragraphs, that create pages in the ongoing story of your life that brings so much positive light into the world, and that's just what I can observe here. How on earth can anyone lay eyes on you without sunglasses is incomprehensible. Ok, I went silly on that one, but I'm confident that when you take the time to reflect on just how much you've done and how far you've come on your journey of life that took on a new course and purpose on that day only a few short years ago, I hope you walk to your favorite place, wrap yourself in a warm blanket and know without a sliver of a doubt just how much good you have done. 
Thank you Nik, for choosing us, out here in this crappy crappy world, to share who you are, where you've been, and knowingly or unknowingly loving us back along the way. Blessings to you and your incredible family."