I was thinking this morning about how I don't believe that we meet anyone by accident.
This is true from the stranger that we meet for 5 minutes who says something to us that shakes us, awakes us, and has us go home and look something up to learn about.
This is true for the friends that we have had in our lives that come and go.
This is true for the person who shatters our heart, the lover that cheats on us, breaks up with us, leaves us in the dust.
They came into our lives to teach us something about ourselves and sometimes it's us teaching them something.
We come into people's lives to teach them or free them. Teach them something that their heart needed to hear to grow or something their soul needed to learn to be set free.
When my late husband died the medical examiner that came to my home the day of this death was one of the kindest men I had ever met in my life. While the police officers said not one word to me and looked at the floor, He sat and held my hand and his presence was so calming and compassionate. He gave me his name, email, and phone number for me to reach out to him anytime with any questions I had or anything at all. I filed that card away in my purse until months and months later when I did have a question about things they test for in an autopsy. I messaged him on Facebook and we started a long conversation. He answered my medical question and then he opened up to me about a suicide that was in his personal life. He told me his pain because it was so much like mine. At that moment that he told me that, my mind flashed back to that day on my porch......him and I sitting on the couch while he told me that my husband had shot himself and it all made sense. It all made sense to me why he was the medical examiner to come talk to me that day. It wasn't by accident. The universe sent him to me is what I believe. And something guided me to talk to him all those months later to help heal my heart a little bit more with our conversation. We proceed to talk about God, the universe, why we think these tragedies happen on a spiritual level, and so much more. The things he said to me like, "Nikki, I don't think it will ever fully make sense to us here on earth as to why your husband and my nephew died by suicide. But when we get, when our souls get, to where souls go and we look back and review it all......it will somehow make sense because we will be on the other side able to see the entire, entire picture." Wow. Just wow. I had never in my life spoken to a man who talked this way about spiritual things so openly. He didn't cross my path by accident. And he told me that I didn't cross his path by accident either. We came into each others lives for that split second either to help either grow or to free each other from suffering. I'm not sure if he follows my writing but if you're reading this? Thank you. I think of you all of the time and I send you so many good wishes and light to you and your family. May we meet again someday under different circumstances.
We are here on earth to wake each other up to who we truly are, to what life is really about, to our purpose, to our path, to the way to be one with God or the universe or the divine or whatever you want to call that energy of love. We are here to awaken each other.
Now the same goes for people who have hurt you. Yes, I have had many people hurt me in my lifetime. Not physically......I don't have the answers as to what the meaning is or if there is any meaning to people or children being hurt physically. I think maybe that's a darkness and it's another topic altogether. But emotionally? Yes, I've been kicked down and dragged around and left behind and ditched before by friends, boyfriends, etc. I've had boyfriends before my late husband who made me feel worthless. Who made me feel like I always had to compete to the pretty girl so that they would like me. That I had to hide away all the parts of me that I thought were odd like my love of books, the way I walk around cemeteries alone, how I use music to say what I'm feeling, and how I talk too loud when I'm excited and happy telling a story. My late husband left me with no goodbye and for so long I blamed him internally. I blamed him for my self-hate and my pain and my hurting. I don't anymore. Is what he did to himself ok? No. Is him leaving with no goodbye and just basically ditching our marriage ok? Of course not. It's not what he meant to do. What he did has nothing to do with me. It was about him and his pain and his suffering. But what did him coming into my life and leaving so suddenly and so tragically do to my soul? It helped me grow. It broke open my heart. It put me on my path. It happened not by accident that we met all those years ago. Somehow and some way I helped him to learn and grow and maybe set him free with things I would say........and he did the same for me. And we most likely won't understand it all until I am on that other side of the fog where his soul is......reviewing it all and understanding from a whole other level.
It's a change in thinking. It's a way of believing. Yes, sometimes something happens and I get mad at Ryan for leaving. I'm still human. But I no longer blame him for my suffering. I set him free. I set me free. I'm grateful for our time together and aware of all that we learned along the way. Now like anything that I write......you can take it or leave it. You can agree with me or disagree with me. I'm cool with it. We all have our own truths. I write things that are my truth, that I believe with all my heart and soul so that you can think.....so that you can dive deeper, so that you can take what resonates with you and leave the rest.
And all those other people who have hurt me in my life? I don't hate them. I barely ever even think about it all anymore. Their leaving me, ditching me, hurting me with their words.........it helped me grow. It made me stronger. It made be smarter. It in the end......made me more loving, more compassionate, more me. I choose to let go of the anger towards them and notice the reason that they came into my life. To awaken me. To shake me up. To change me when I needed changing. To put me on my path when I was going in the wrong direction. I don't blame them, hate them, or regret anything I've done in my life.
Have you been hurt? Have you experienced a loved one dying by suicide so suddenly and you feel left behind? Have you been divorced and blame the other person for your pain months and years after? Are you suffering from depression and hate those people who don't understand and say mean things to you? Focus on you. Take your focus off of them and focus on your own self-love, your own growth, your own path. Look deeply into the things they say to you, learn, and them wish them well and go on your way. The things that happen in our lives.....good or bad....it makes us who we are. It makes us who we are if we allow it to help us learn and grow. Isn't that the point of life? To learn and grow? To learn how to let go of the hate, blame, and anger and embrace knowledge, understanding, and love? Take your focus off of how someone hurt you and put your focus onto your own self love and growth.
In our lives we do not meet anyone by accident. The stranger that you spoke with for 5 minutes in the elevator and for the rest of your life you remember the thing they said? The friend you had for years who you have drifted apart from? The lover that left you in a heaping mess of tears? The friend who comes into your life when you feel broken and they can make you feel at home and make you laugh like you haven't laughed in years? It's all for a reason. None of it is by accident.
We meet each other to help each other in our awakening.
We meet each other to help each other grow.