Copyright Nik Bonkoski 2019

All images and text on this blog are credited to Nik Bonkoski, unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Nik Bonkoski is strictly prohibited.

Excerpts and links to this blog are permitted, providing that full credit is given to Nik Bonkoski with clear and specific direction to the original content.

 

Heal through Writing

 

My next "Heal through writing" course starts October 1st!!
🍂❣️🌻🍁☕️💻📱

I haven't done this since month long course since last spring so get in on this while you can! 
Very limited number of spots available! 🍁☕️

For the entire month of October you can email me every day “Dear, Nik....” and I will write back with my knowledge and support. For the entire 31 days of October I am your personal mental wellness coach! 

I have people tell me everyday that it’s so much easier for them to tell a stranger their hurts and issues than someone close to them. I totally understand! I am the same way. This monthly pen pal thing? It’s a super personal way of having someone hold your hand through a tough, sad, or confusing time in your life. With my personality, it’s something I desperately needed over 4 years ago but never found. Many people do not feel comfortable with in-person grief/support groups or counseling and can express themselves more truthfully and fully through writing. 

You have the power to change your views and knowledge about any situation you are going through. Writing through your feelings and thoughts for one month at a time can have a huge impact on your emotions and inner peace.
I am well versed and educated in: grief, trauma, loss, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and more. 🍁

I am not here to fix you or heal you or make you feel 100% better. No one can truly do that for us. Healing comes from within. I’m here to teach you, nudge you, inform you, and wrap you in compassion and hope.

Writing is powerful stuff.
In one month it could help lift the load.....just a little.
I know how to tell if you are introverted or extroverted and this helps me to know which suggestions to make to you when I write back if we become monthly Pen Pals. I also use my intuition to know if I should go deep into teaching you Spiritual healing or leave that out based on your thoughts and beliefs.

I am here to give you my extensive knowledge, wisdom, support, and compassion.
I’m in a lighter place after the suicide of my first husband in 2015. I have been through: grief, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, solo parenting, widowhood. I can help you find ways through the dark to your beautiful inner light. I can teach you ways to cope and to ground yourself. 

Keep your light held high.
Look to Mother Nature for peace and comfort.

Read through all the praises to my work posted throughout each page of my website to get an idea of how my teachings have helped men and women around the world. 
www.niktebbe.com


"At the heart of real intimacy is a certain vulnerability. It is hard to trust someone with your vulnerability unless you can see in them a matching vulnerability and know that you will not be judged. In some basic way it is our imperfections and even our pain that draws others close to us."-Rachel Naomi Remen💞

Everything I write is completely unique to you with a gentle and loving guidance undertone. I have helped thousands of men and women move forward, gain knowledge, and begin to heal their life. I can help you, too. All of your personal and private information is safe and sacred with me. Your stories, words, and anything you tell me stays locked in my heart forever. I do not speak with anyone about my Pen Pals. This is sacred work and you are safe to open up and share as I will also do with you. I'm an open and honest book here to help you with my experience and knowledge. 

At the end of the month you may feel a bit lighter and have gained knowledge and ways to self-heal your life. You won't find everything in your life and heart "fixed" but you may feel relief and healing inside of being able to tell the truth to someone who deeply cares. We can't always "fix" our wounds or troubles but we can learn ways to lighten our personal suffering, build boundaries, and we can learn to make room for all life brings to us: Joy, pain, grief, happiness, misery, love, and relief. I will not push positivity on you. I will not tell you to look for the "silver lining" or the "gift" within your suffering or struggles. I know we must all come to our own personal conclusions as to why painful things happen to us. I will not tell you that your happiness is on you because I hear thousands of stories of suffering, struggles, and grief every day so I know that it's not that simple. I will not force you to accept or forgive or let go. I know people who have moved forward without any of those things. You are in charge of your journey. I'm here to hold space for your words, your story. 

I am here to acknowledge what you are going through and shower you with compassion. I'm here to teach you and to cheer you on as you walk towards your human right to shine. 

In one month you could help yourself to set foot on your healing journey and be in a different place emotionally. 

Anything is possible. Never give up hope. 

Sign up today. Do something for your own self-care. You deeply deserve it. 

Love always, Nik
💞💞💞💞💞

Cost is $100.00 for ONE MONTH of daily email conversation.
Next course starts October 1st!!! I will not be doing this writing course in November or December (next one will be in January) so this is your last chance for 2019. 
🍁🌻😘💞🍂💻📱☕️
(That's around $3.00/day for daily support, knowledge, guidance, wisdom and advice....pretty amazing!)

Email me to sign up!!! niktebbe@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Policies & Practices

- You are responsible for taking the time and action to email me each day. Please make sure my email address is not going to your spam or other folder. 

-Emails are completely confidential. I do not speak to anyone about our conversations. I do not share your writing with anyone and never will.

-I am a certified grief support specialist, not a therapist or physician. This monthly support is not a substitute for therapy or medical advice.

-We cannot discuss active suicidal thoughts or plans. If you are actively suicidal then this is not the support for you. Thank you for understanding. 

 

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"I do love this--people are opening up to you & Nik you are an inspiration to people whom really maybe have nowhere else to turn to you are making a difference to so many! Not everyone has a peachy upbringing!! Life can be so difficult for so many!! Keep doing what you do Nik--you are making a difference in this world!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear you, 

You, who is in pain today. 

You, who is angry and hurting. 

You, who sees no light at the end of the tunnel. 

You, who feels alone. 

You, who's anxiety keeps them up all night. 

You, who can't seem to let go. 

You, who gets judged for moving forward and being happy. 

You, who feels abandoned. 

You, who chases dreams you can't seem to catch. 

You, who has a traumatized soul. 

You, who thinks no one cares. 

Breathe. 

I close my eyes and pray for you. I see your names clicking like on my posts and I send prayers into the cosmos for every....single....one of you. 

Let's get real for a moment.

All of my writing is real. All of it. It's so real, so raw, so brutally honest and strikingly healing that it should blow your hair back. All of it is mine....it’s my heart, my wisdom, my pain.

I love writing in poetry and prose form. I love storytelling but then.....once-in-awhile.... I want to knock you down lovingly with truth.

Dear you, my trauma tricks me into fearing to cross the street almost every...single...day. I cross it anyways. I want to live. Really live. I used to pull my car over in blinding, oxygen stealing panic attack and now I keep driving with the windows down and the music up. LIVE.

Dear, you........Life after loss, after trauma, after being abandoned and having to pick up the pieces of a mess you didn't make is brutal. It's so hard. I'm not waiting for some someday. I'm loving and being grateful for my life right now. Right now in each moment because I know this is my life. I could travel the world in a camper at 57. I could get hit by a bus at 45. I could die by natural causes at 93. 

Live your life. All of it. The length of it and the width of it. Choose to live with grace through the joy and through the pain. This is life and it's all worth it and there's beauty in every bit of it. Live through it. Live. 

This is me. I’m authentic. I’m the same person in public, in private, and when I’m alone. I care about honesty and integrity. I’m just a regular 39 year-old-woman. I don’t care about gaining followers. I care about people. I care about your pain. If you see me on the street? Please, Say..hello! I want to give you a hug! I want to know you. 

I’m not building a brand with my writing. This is not a brand....this is just me turning my hand, knowledge, and wisdom out to you because I’ve been in the dark and it was terrifying. I don’t want you to be alone. 

I'm going to throw more of my fear out the window this year. I'm going to tell my anxiety to take a bus out of town when it rises in my veins. I'm going to write with fierce bravery even if nothing is ever published. Published writing doesn’t make you more worthy. I am a writer not matter where my words land. 

Dear, you......Breathe. Listen to my words. I will only shower you in loving truth and not forceful toxic positivity. I will send you love always. 

You can be happy and sad. 

You can celebrate and be in pain. 

You can live when you want to give in. 

If you aren’t happy? Know that happiness comes and goes. It will knock on your heart again one day. Happiness isn't the ultimate thing to strive for in life even though our society has taught us that it is. What should we strive for? Being content. Contentedness is pure gold. Run after it with everything you've got and then sit down, look up at the sky, and know that you are loved. 

I want you to try to do the same. You deserve to really be inside of your life feeling fully alive. Stop worrying about what happens when we die and start living while you are still alive.

Trust life even when it seems to have screwed you over, tricked you, and left you behind.

You see?

Live your life.

Now.

Cry when the tears come to you. Tears? They don't only release sadness. They release stress hormones, anxiety....and old stories. 

Close your eyes. Breathe. 

Sing when the song plays for you.

Dance. Dance. Dance.

Drink wine with friends and laugh. Please, laughter is everything. Laughter is free therapy. 

Keep going.

Keep shining.

Where you are is not where you are stuck.

Others lives are not more shiny than yours....they maybe just make the choice every 5 minutes of every single day to be happy, to let go, to choose love and joy and living for right now.

You are loved. Even when everything feels in pieces.

I give all of my extra prayers to you, dear friends. 

I love you. If you see me on the street? Holler, "Hey, Nik? Is that you?" And I will reply, "Heck, yeah, it's me! Get over here and give me a hug." 

Love always...your friend, Nik
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

donating = loving🦋🙏www.paypal.me/niktebbe 
For 4 years my blog, social media, and support groups have remained free (and ad-free). It takes me hundreds of hours a month to research, write, and sustain my work. Your support really matters. If you find any value in what I do, if my writing has helped your life and your heart...please consider becoming a sustaining patron with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of coffee and a good book. You can also become a spontaneous supporter with a one-time donation in any amount.
Thank you!!

FREE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUPS
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"In awe of your calming composure and thorough grasp of the dynamics of these emotions, thank you" 

 

 

When my fist husband died I followed my intuition which told me to rewild my heart. I put my bare feet to the earth to ease my depression, cried rivers of tears on local hiking trails, practiced yoga to release painful emotions, meditated to listen to my soul and calm my anxiety, wrote my way through my anger and loneliness,  planted a boundary of trees to protect my fragile heart from toxic relationships, found my personal spirituality deep in the heart of the woods, built a community around me of loving hearts, and stripped my life down to who I truly am, and always have been, at my core. All of this is what set my personal suffering free. I still feel sadness. I still get waves of grief, but I now have the natural tools and knowledge to care for myself during these times. Lean into your grief and your soul will show you the way to your hope, to your restoration, to your illumination. Our grief wounds will stay with us for the rest of our lives but we can find ways to get through some of the big grief emotions and find things that help us to carry the load.-Nik

 

 

 

 

"Your authentic articulation on grief speaks to me and you are so appreciated."

 

"You are amazing!!! I read your email last night and I have felt the way you've expressed for almost 2 years. Life has been so dramatically different but God made me their mom because he knew I'd need them and they'd need me. I am so proud of your spirit and the ability you have to express what you feel and turn it outward into advice for others. Thank you, from one widow to another."